Bit of Self-Care & Other Essentials

After having my child, I went through a bit of an identity crisis. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I sort of was the same person, but I also wasn’t. I cared about different things; I prioritised someone else’s needs over mine. If I am honest, I refused to notice my own needs for a very long time after becoming a mother. I almost didn’t know how to do it. Or my physical and mental load was suddenly so high that I struggled to acknowledge that I had other needs. I have stopped going to yoga classes, buying clothes or even looking at clothes for myself. I won’t even mention evenings or nights out, because I was a mum now. I felt lost. I didn’t know how to explain my feelings and experiences to my husband. And then he struggled because he saw something was up but could not help me. I had other mum friends that I could speak to, but I remember concentrating on their needs, not even thinking of mentioning how I felt. And then one day I accidentally listened to a podcast by Giovanna Fletcher...

It was my birthday, and I don’t know about you, but on my birthdays I philosophise about, well, getting older. Despite feeling young and having two young children, I know that time is going forward. I don’t want to sound morbid or melodramatic—that’s not the point - but I am not getting younger. One thing that I’ve realised is that when I was younger, I could easily create role models for myself because TV and films were full of beautiful young women doing amazing things. And when you get older, you don’t notice that many older women doing amazing things. They’re either not very visible, or one day there and then gone from our screens. How many TV presenters over 50 can you name in 5 seconds? Or singers or actresses that are still going strong? Many try to defy ageing via surgery or by seeking roles meant for much younger women. Others vanish. And then I realised that I only notice what I pay attention to. I concentrate on younger women out of  habit , so I see them more. But I’m s...