The pre-Christmas time is full of hope and anticipation. Adults and kids alike are waiting for miracles.
But what if miracles get lost on the way and don’t show up? My trick is to create my festive mood myself.
How do I do it?
By accepting my emotions and turning myself into my personal magical creature.
What will you discover in this article:
Take off your mask
Accept your emotions
Give yourself magic powers
Plan your magic month
Invent a new festive menu
Be your magic self
Instead of dreaming that a nice man called Santa Claus will leave lots of presents under the tree, we, adults, dream about dreams coming true.
Why do we attach so much expectations to Christmas and Winter Holidays?
It's because we have been brought up first on sweet and charming stories about Santa, then similarly sweet stories told by Holywood films.
Then there were songs annually competing with each other, promising miracles, magic and other fluffy things.
We also attach a bit too much of expectation and hope to this magical time of year because just like kids, we need to believe in something, in something bigger than ourselves.
Why is that?
Because life without hope and dreams is... boring and plain.
So why do so many of us get slightly sad and catch a proper winter blue around this time of year?
Sometimes it's because of serious life-changing events, like losing loved ones, getting sad news or ending a relationship, career, etc. This post is not about it. What I would like to cover here is similar to seasonal affective disorder (SAD), where our mood is affected by the lack of light and sunshine. This post is about unexplained sadness that might accompany festive seasons. And no real reason is needed.
It's all to do with two things: expectations and removed responsibility.
Expectations
We dream of something big and earth-shattering and when it does not happen, we feel let down.
Removed responsibility
Someone somewhere is responsible for our happiness, our mood, our well-being. When this someone does not deliver - we start feeling sorry for ourselves.
It's that simple.
But let me tell you a secret that is not a secret at all: no one else can deliver your good mood and feeling of contentment but you.
Ouch. It hurts, doesn' it?
But once we accept that there is no Santa, not really, and that our other halves or parents cannot make us happy unless we want to be happy - we can actually create our own good mood and magic. All by ourselves.
The 6 steps outlined below will help you conjure up your festive mood out of thin air.
How to create a festive mood without applying magic powers.
1. Take off your masks
You might not realise it, but masks we are constantly wearing stop us from getting to know who we truly are.
By taking off your masks abd gebtly peeling off all the societal expectations, you will face the real you. And hopefully know how you want to feel this festive season.
And whatever anyone thinks!
Start with something small.
Watch a film or listen to some festive music. Make yourself deliciously indulgent mug of cocoa. Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling.
Are you feeling sad?
Imagine your sadness as a small creature. Go over to it, pick it up, and give it a hug. Allow it to be itself, allow it to be sad. Ask it some questions. Why is it feeling sad? No reason? Then just hold it for some time.
You might notice that after a while sadness gets a bit more cheerful. Pick it up and throw it in the air, as if it's a toddler. Let it giggle, first quietly and then louder and louder. Allow it to feel whatever it wants to feel. Your sadness might want to giggle and then have a good old cry, then let it. Whatever it is, don’t try to squash or replace it with anything else. Allow it to be.
2. Accept your emotions
Whatever self-help books and happiness gurus claim - happiness is not a constant state. It's a fleeting, transient moment, like a gentle, magical, fragile deer that is here now and gone the next second.
Do not expect to be in a good mood at all times, full of winter magic and anticipation, day in and day out. Allow yourself to have days when you don't feel like it. Have days when you are angry and frustrated. Be ok with it.
Don't dwell on negativity as it creates negativity, but acknowledge that sometimes you might feel a bit low.
The best approach is to name or label your emotions. By giving them space and naming them you don't run away from them, you allow them space to exist. They will disappear by their own accord because they have not been avoided.
3. Give yourself some magic powers
Now that you have hugged your sadness and accepted your negative emotions, turn yourself into a winter fairy - create your own magic!
What would you like this winter holiday to be like? Do you want them to be fun and loud or quiet and calm?
Do you see yourself with your loved ones having a quiet family celebration? Or do you want it to be full of people, dance, music, bright decorations and lots of sparkling wine? Whatever you feel like - write it down and make it happen.
How to create the magic worthy of Hollywood films
4. Plan your magic month your way
December is the month when the magic happens! Because we say so!
Plan how you want to spend this month. Plan it well before the main festivities take over your life.
Note down what people you'd like to have with you. If some people cannot be physically present, schedule a call or a video call well in advance. Tell them how much you'd like them to be with you.
If your loved ones are no longer with us, put their photo up and pretend they are there with you. Try to remember those precious moments when you were together. Yet again, don’t hide from whatever feelings you are feeling.
5. Invent a new festive menu
Decide what you'd like to eat. Create a menu you feel is worthy of your magic month and your magic self.
Don't feel like cooking? Free up some space in your freezer and get ready to stock up on frozen deliciousness.
If cooking is something you've been looking forward to - remove the dust from your favourite recipe book. Choose only what you fancy, not what it expected.
Are you not a turkey person? Do you feel like beef for Christmas dinner? Or maybe Keto diet made your mouth water with certain recipes? Choose those. It's your party, it's your magic.
If your family is expecting something different - talk to them. Explain what you are doing and why. If they disagree - offer that they cook or order their own perfect dishes. They create their own magic, don’t they?
Winter holidays are not only about making everyone around you happy, but ensuring you are happy. And if you are not happy - the chances are no matter what you cook to please your loved ones - no one is going to enjoy it.
And a bonus tip!
6. Be your magic self
This point is so silly and trivial, but how often we forget this simple trick and try to please everyone else instead?
Just be yourself. If you need more inspiration, this compilation of quotes about always being your best self should help you.
And now that you have a magic power - banish any negativity that shows up.
I know I contradict myself because earlier on I suggested accepting your negativity and allowing it to be. But negativity is like a naughty cat - always does what it wants. It will inevitably try to control you by making you do what you don't what to do. So tell it to go for a walk. Tell it to - scat!!
And simply enjoy this month, minute by minute, the way you imagined it.
Final thoughts
And there you have it.
Simple tips on how to clear your inner space by creating a festive mood by accepting your emotions.
And even simpler ideas on how to create your own magic.
As long as you believe you can do it, anything is possible. Because you create your own magic. You are magic.
Do you have any advice on how to create your own festive mood without relying on Santa and your loved ones?
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Image: Alisa Anton, Unsplash