Simple But Powerful Ideas On How To Create A Festive Mood
The pre-Christmas time is full of hope and anticipation. Adults and kids alike are awaiting miracles. But what if miracles get lost on the way and don’t show up? My trick is to create my festive mood by accepting my emotions and turning myself into my personal magical creature.
It's not like adults still believe in Santa Claus hoping for a nice present. Adults have dreams and expectations. Adults hope that the winter magic time will somehow make their dreams come true and change everything for the best.
Why do we attach so much expectation to Christmas and Winter Holidays in general? It's because we've been brought up on Santa, then on Holywood films and songs where each is competing with a previous one to promise something unbelievably great. We also attach a bit too much of hope to this magical time of year because just like kids we need to believe in something, in something bigger than ourselves.
Why is that?
Because life without hope and dreams is... boring and plain.
So why do so many of us get slightly sad and catch a proper winter blue around this time of year?
It's all to do with two things: expectations and removed responsibility.
We dream of something big and earth shattering and when it does not happen; we feel let down.
Someone somewhere is responsible for our happiness, our mood, our wellbeing. When this someone does not deliver - we start feeling sorry for ourselves.
But let me tell you a secret that is not a secret at all: no one else can deliver your good mood and feeling of contentment but you. Ouch. Too much pressure, isn't it? Yes, and no.
Once we accept that there is no magic Santa and our other halves or parents cannot make us happy unless we want to be happy - we could actually go and create our own good mood and magic.
Create your personal magic
Feel your feelings
Start with something small. Watch a film or listen to some festive music. Make yourself deliciously indulgent, coco. Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling.
Are you feeling sad?
Imagine your sadness as a small creature. Go over to it, pick it up and give it a hug. Allow it to be itself, allow it to be sad. Ask it some questions. Why is it feeling sad? No reason? Then just hold it for some time. You might notice that after a while sadness gets a bit more cheerful. Pick it up and throw it in the air, as if it's a child. Let it giggle, first quietly and then louder and louder. Allow it to feel whatever it wants to feel. Your sadness might want to have a good old cry after uncontrollable giggles, then let it. Whatever it is, don’t try to squash or replace it with anything else. Allow it to be.
Accept your emotions
Whatever self-help books and happiness gurus claim - happiness is not a constant state. It's a fleeting, transient moment, like a gentle, magical, fragile deer that is here now and gone the next second. Do not expect to be constantly in a good mood, full of winter magic and anticipation. Allow yourself to be sad, angry, whatever feelings you might experience and be ok with it.
Don't dwell on negativity as it creates negativity, but acknowledge that sometimes you might feel a bit low and down. Whatever you do, simply sit there naming or labelling your emotions. By giving them space and naming them you don't run away from them, you allow them space to exist. They will disappear by their own accord because they have not been shunned away.
Be the magic
Now that you have hugged your sadness and accepted your negative emotions, turn yourself into a winter fairy - create your own magic!
What would you like this winter holidays to be like? Do you want them to be fun and loud or quiet and calm? Do you see yourself with lots of people, presents and tasty food? Or do you want it to be full of dance music, bright decorations and lots of sparkling wine? Whatever you feel like - write it down and then make it happen.
Plan your own magic month
Plan how you want to spend this month. Note down what people you'd like to have with you. If some people cannot be physically with you, schedule a call or a video call well in advance. Tell them how much you'd like them to be near you. If your loved ones are no longer with us, put their photo up and pretend they are there with you. Remember those precious moments when you were together. Yet again, don’t hide from whatever feelings you are feeling.
Decide what you'd like to eat. Create a menu you feel is worthy of your magic month and your magic self. Don't feel like cooking? Free up some space in your freezer and get ready to stock up on frozen deliciousness.
If cooking is something you've been looking forward to - remove the dust from your favourite recipe book. Choose only what you fancy, not what it expected.
Are you not a turkey person? Do you feel like beef for Christmas dinner? Or maybe Keto diet made your mouth water with certain recipes? Choose those. It's your party, it's your magic.
If your family is expecting something different - talk to them. Explain what you are doing and why. If they disagree - offer that they cook or order their own perfect dishes. They create their own magic, don’t they? Winter holidays is not only about making everyone around you happy, but also ensuring you are happy. But if you are not happy - the chances are no matter what you cook to please your loved one - no one is going to enjoy it.
This point is so silly and trivial, but how often we forget it and try to please everyone else instead?
Just be yourself. But now that you have a magic power - banish any negativity that shows up too often. I know I contradict myself because higher up I suggested to accept your negativity and allow it to be. But negativity is like a naughty cat - always does what it wants and try to control you by making you do what you don't what to do. So tell it to go for a walk. Tell it to - scat!! And simply enjoy this month, minute by minute, the way you dream it.