Updated: Apr 5
Guys, we only have one life to live!
And we need to live it the way we want to. Not the way someone expects us to or someone says we should.
We obviously can’t neglect our responsibilities. But we can minimise the surrounding expectations, the noise of “shoulds”.
What do you think?
My whimsical self-care tips are here to remind you not to take things too seriously and remember to have fun with your life.
Saying no should be a proper science, alongside physics and chemistry. Because you need to be brave and comfortable when doing it. Humans are people pleasers by nature. Saying no is akin to dropping a kitty into a bucket of ice water. Kitties don’t like water, especially icy.
Tips to help you say no. The trick is not to say “no”:
Say ‘yes’ instead.
I know, sounds counter-intuitive. But if you start your “no” with a “yes”, it won’t sound too harsh to you and your opponent.
You have plans for this evening, but your best friend wants to let her hair down.
-Let’s go out tonight!
-Yes, what a great idea! But how about tomorrow? I heard this bar is doing 2 for 1 on Saturday afternoons.
You see what you are doing here? No disagreeing, just offering an alternative. Only stubborn people would not get it.
-Let’s go out tonight!
-I wish there was a magic door I could use to be in two places at the same time!
For more tips, I’d recommend you watch this short video.
Lower your expectations
This might sound easy. And it will be once you turn it into a regular practice.
Life is full of tasks, opportunities, activities. You simply cannot excel at them all. By lowering your expectations, you are giving yourself a grace and allowing yourself to be present without rushing around and thriving for illusive perfection.
It’s your child’s birthday and her friends’ birthday parties were a blast! Entertainers, bouncy castles, elaborate snack choices, the most amazing 300 layered cakes! How do you beat that? Well, you don’t.
Your child will not care at all, especially young one. All they want is an opportunity to run around with their friends screaming like headless chicken. When they are older and have their own expectations, it’s a topic for a different conversation. Give your child a place and an opportunity to be silly, happy and free. The rest is nomenclature (yep, love this word, please look it up, you won’t regret it).
That enormous to-do list makes you want to run for the hills. I get it. Let’s throw it out of the window. Maybe not literally. Put it away once or twice a week. The plan is to be present in whatever is happening right now.
Life is so short and if you spend all of it in your head planning things, when will you live?
Call it “my carefree time” and put in your calendar. Stay in that state for as long as you can manage. It might be 5 minutes per week to begin with. Then add another 10 minutes. And in a few months’ time, you’ll be a carefree pro.
You will teach yourself to have fun. And maybe learn to be more productive. It will give you an opportunity to recharge your batteries and have a fresh perspective. You might rewrite your urgent/priority to-do list so it’s more manageable and enjoyable.
Be carefree one day per week. And trust me, that one day will help you achieve much more.
I know it’s difficult, especially for perfectionists and control freaks amongst us (me and me).