5 Ways to Complete the Stress Cycle

What Is the Stress Cycle?

We all feel stressed from time to time.

It’s part of our daily routine. It comes and goes without us noticing its presence.

But because we are so used to it, and so used to feeling a little stressed at all times, we might not even notice that sometimes it stays with us for longer. Often we don’t even realise that it’s there, like we don’t notice a mild cold.

This is because every stress has its beginning. And if we think logically, it should then have an end. But how often to we put a big fat full stop after a stressful event?

Why Closing the Stress Cycle Matters

Emily & Amelia Nagoski, the authors of the book Burnout, believe that every time a stress reaction begins we need to actively close the cycle so that it doesn’t continue boiling inside of us.

If we don’t close the cycle it continues running within our system and might make us “explode” unexpectedly.

Remember those times when you had a very good day and then something insignificant happened and you just went berserk?

Later you’d look at yourself and you think: Why? What did just happen? Why did I react like this? This situation was not very serious. Why did I go absolutely nuts?

And it’s because one stress or several tiny stresses were still building up within you and used this tiny event as a trigger to let it all out.

So how do you close the cycle? Well, it’s very easy, really, if you remember to follow through with it.

You just need to make sure you do something with your body to tell it you are done stressing, that you are ok, you are no longer in danger.

There are several ways to encourage your body to complete the cycle - feel it, then free it. I will cover 5 in this article.

5 Easy Ways to Close the Stress Cycle

1. Use Physical Activity to Release Stress

• Tense and release your muscles several times.

• Do a little dance.

• Shake your body, like a dog.

• Do something silly like a headstand, especially when no one is looking.

• Any physical activity will do (jogging, yoga, Pilates, stretching, walking, etc.)

This is to release all the attention that is gathering within your body when you’re stressing out. And to tell your body that you have survived whatever stress it was.

Example: you have a little argument with your loved one. You feel angry but get on with your day. You forget about the argument but your body continues to carry it, your brains keep on working a snappy reply in the background. The stress is still there.

Then something insignificant happens at work and you explode. And it’s all because you didn’t close the stress cycle.

After an argument, tense and release your shoulders several times to let the whole system know that you are ok.

2. Mindful Breathing and Meditation

• Meditation.

• Any type of mindful activity (e.g eating, drinking, etc.)

• Breathing exercises.

• Enjoy a long hot cup of tea.

You could slowly breathe in and then exhale a long exhale and do it several times. This will send a signal to your brain that distress is over that you can go on with your life.

My go to book recommendations on mindfulness and meditation are here.

Example: you were crossing a road at a pedestrian crossing then suddenly a car jumped the red light. Your heart starts beating super fast - you have just literally escaped being hit by a car!

You continue with your day but your body and nervous system are feeling tense and jumpy. Stress is still swimming through your blood vessels.

Do a breathing exercise. Close the right nostril breathe in, open right nostril close the left and breathe out. Repeat until you feel your body is calming down.

3. Social Connection for Stress Relief

• A gentle chitchat with your loved ones.

• Laughter.

• A hug.

• A kiss.

Do anything that initiates a release of feel good hormones. This will assure your body and your brain that everything is good, the world is a safe place. That means the danger is over.

Example: you have had a very stressful call with a client. What you delivered appears not be aligned with what they wanted. The misunderstanding is solved. Everyone is happy, but you continue feeling anxious. It’s because you have experienced a stressful event.

When you get home, ask your loved ones for a hug. Or watch a good laugh-out-loud comedy and release that stress.

4. Emotional Release or Let It Out

• Have a good old cry.

• Hit the pillow.

• Scream.

• Sing a song.

• Comfort yourself, e.g give yourself a hug.

Having an intentional cry or a scream is a good way to finish the stress cycle. It’s like releasing a primordial yelp to announce to everyone that the danger is no longer here.

Example: your child didn’t sleep well at night. You kept waking up every hour or so. Then you get on with your day. But you feel a bit jumpy, slow and sluggish. Your nervous system has not rested and you’ve experienced stress when cutting your restful sleep short.

Have a little emotional release by crying or hitting a pillow. While walking a dog shout or sing to release pent-up tension, who cares what others think.

5. Creativity as a Stress-Busting Tool

• Creative activity, such as painting, drawing, knitting, poem writing, etc..

• Read something relaxing, including mantras or affirmations.

• Look at yourself in the mirror and say that you are out of danger.

• Tell yourself that you have performed this or that activity to complete the cycle.

Creative and art activities send very clear signals to our brain that danger is over. If you are relaxed enough do something creative - the life goes on.

Make sure you are consciously engaged with whatever activity you choose. Maybe try repeating this phase out loud a few times: “Now I am safe.”

Example: you’ve received a bill and it’s more than you’ve expected. You do all your calculations again and it’s ok. You can pay it. It’s not a big deal. But you feel nervous for no apparent reason. It’s because you got an unexpected scare.

Spend the evening colouring. Use your favourite colours, make something bright and cheerful. Let your body and brain know that all is good - you are ok, the world is ok, a bit challenging at times, but ok.

Personal Insights on How I Manage Stress

I, personally, am an introverted-extrovert with a hyperactive or nervous disposition.

I also work with people.

What that means is - I live in pretty much constant state of stress. I talk to people, it’s a stressor for some if not all of my senses. I also deal with screaming toddlers. My stress adds up and multiplies, like gremlins.

I have recently learnt that if after an intense meeting, phone call or any other engagement I don’t do something to complete the stress cycle - I reach a burnout very quickly, sometimes within days.

It manifests itself in physical symptoms, such as aches and pains in my body. And my emotional state is, well, unstable. I reach boiling point very easily, get upset, get angry, get super defensive.

But if I take time to sit with what has just happened, breathe in and out slowly and be still, or on the contrary, do something active, the chances are my internal jar of stress won’t fill up that quickly.

Final Thoughts or Don’t Let Stress Linger

If stress has the beginning, it needs to have the end.

After experiencing any stress, minor work related, a scare, a toxic interaction, finished a project - don’t simply go on with your day.

Instead, pause for a few minutes and complete the cycle by consciously telling yourself that you are out of danger, you are ok. The stress is over.

And hopefully this will help you to lead a healthier life as no additional old and heavy stressors will be piggy riding on your back.